Off Autopilot: Choosing Hope in Uncertain Times
Turn on the news, scroll through social media, or listen to conversations around you, and you will find stories about uncertainty and things that seem to be going wrong. Add personal stressors such as relationship challenges, health concerns, financial uncertainty, or career setbacks, and it becomes understandable why many people feel less hopeful about the future. This is where cynicism can start to creep in. In our minds, we often believe that if we expect the worst, we cannot be disappointed. And while cynicism can feel protective, research suggests it can also shape how we see ourselves, other people, and the possibilities available to us.
Hope, on the other hand, is often misunderstood. Many people associate hope with toxic positivity, or wishful thinking. However, psychologists describe hope as something much more practical: the ability to remain open to possibility even when the outcome is uncertain. This article explores what hope really is, why cynicism can quietly undermine our well-being, and how cultivating hope can help you navigate uncertainty, build resilience, and stay engaged with the things that matter most.
Most positive emotions emerge when things are going well. We feel joy when something good happens, gratitude when we recognize what we have, and contentment when we feel safe and secure. Hope is different and tends to appear when life feels uncertain. Psychologist Richard Lazarus described hope as “fearing the worst while yearning for something better.” This definition indicates that hope and uncertainty often coexist.
Think about preparing for a checkride, navigating a furlough, or applying for a position in a highly competitive hiring environment. Perhaps you are dealing with an unexpected health issue, a career transition, or uncertainty about what comes next. None of these situations comes with guarantees. Yet many people continue to hope. Hope does not require certainty; it requires the belief that things can change.
This differentiation matters because uncertainty naturally activates our threat system. When we are worried, our attention narrows. We focus on what could go wrong, what we might lose, and the obstacles standing in our way. Hope helps us zoom out. It allows us to consider possibilities beyond the problem immediately in front of us. It reminds us that today's circumstances are not necessarily permanent and that the future is not determined yet.
Why Cynicism Feels Convincing
If hope is helpful, why do so many people struggle with it? Part of the answer is that cynicism often feels realistic. Many people see themselves as realists rather than cynics. They may say things like, “I am just being practical,” or “I have learned not to expect too much from people.” Often, these beliefs develop for understandable reasons. Disappointment, betrayal, loss, and repeated setbacks can make us more cautious. Over time, caution can slowly evolve into cynicism.
The challenge is that cynicism does not just shape how we view the world; it also influences how we engage with it. When we assume that people are selfish, unreliable, or untrustworthy, we are more likely to keep our distance. We may become less willing to ask for help, less open about our struggles, and less inclined to invest in relationships. We start expecting disappointment before it has even occurred. In many ways, cynicism can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The less we trust others, the fewer opportunities we have to discover that people are often more supportive, compassionate, and helpful than we expected.
This does not mean that everyone is trustworthy or that disappointment never happens. Rather, it suggests that cynicism may cause us to overlook evidence that challenges our assumptions and reinforces the belief that positive outcomes are possible.
Hope Is More Than Positive Thinking
Hope is often mistaken for wishful thinking. We tend to think that hopeful people simply sit back and wish for things to improve. In reality, hope is closely linked to action. It is less about waiting for circumstances to change and more about believing that our actions can still influence what happens next. Even when the outcome is uncertain, hope encourages us to keep moving forward, looking for solutions, adapting to challenges, and focusing on what remains within our control.
In other words, hope is not about pretending or wishing everything will work out. It is about asking yourself: What can I do from here?
Even when we are unable to control the outcome, we can often influence the process. We can reach out for support, we can take a small step toward a goal, or we can learn something new. We can focus on what is still within our control. This is where hope and resilience intersect. Resilient people are not necessarily more optimistic than everyone else; they continue taking action despite uncertainty.
Exercises to Build Hope
The good news is that hope is not something people either have or do not have. Like many psychological skills, it can be strengthened. These are a few simple exercises that can help cultivate a more hopeful mindset.
1. Test Your Assumptions
Research shows that people often predict that social interactions will be more awkward, disappointing, or less positive than they actually are. We assume a colleague will not have time to talk, a friend will not understand, or a stranger will not be interested in a conversation.
For one week, choose one interaction per day that you would normally avoid or overthink. Before the interaction, rate how positive you expect it to be on a scale from 1 to 10.
You might:
Ask a colleague for help.
Start a conversation with someone you don't know well.
Share something personal with a trusted friend.
Express appreciation to someone.
Afterwards, rate how it actually went. Was it as awkward or disappointing as you expected? Or did it go better than anticipated? The goal is not to force positive interactions, but to gather evidence. Many people discover that their predictions are far more negative than reality.
2. Look for Everyday Acts of Kindness
Our brains are naturally wired to notice problems and potential threats. As a result, we often overlook the many small acts of kindness happening around us each day.
For one week, make it a point to notice three (small) examples of kindness, generosity, or cooperation each day. A coworker who offers help, a stranger who holds a door open, or someone who shows patience during a stressful situation.
Write them down if you can. This exercise is not about ignoring difficulties. It is about creating a more balanced picture of the world and the people in it.
3. Strengthen Your Connections
Hope rarely thrives in isolation. Take a moment to think about the people who make you feel supported, understood, or valued. Choose one person this week and intentionally reach out. Send a text, make a phone call, meet for coffee, or just check in.
If your social circle feels limited, consider joining a group, volunteering, or participating in an activity that connects you with others who share similar interests.
4. Reconnect with Your Values
During periods of uncertainty, it can be easy to lose sight of what matters most. Set aside ten minutes and ask yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be?
What values are most important to me?
How do I want to show up for myself and others?
Whether your answers include courage, curiosity, compassion, integrity, family, or personal growth, consider one small action you can take this week that reflects those values. When we are guided by our values rather than our fears, it becomes easier to keep moving forward, even when the path ahead is unclear.
5. “What Can I Influence?”
This exercise is based on the circle of control and influence. This is a useful tool when uncertainty feels overwhelming. Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns.
Column 1: Things I Can’t Control
The weather
Other people's choices
Economic conditions
The outcome of a medical test
Past events/choices/mistakes
Column 2: Things I Can Influence
How I prepare
Who I ask for support
My daily habits
The next step I take
When people feel hopeless, their attention often becomes consumed by the first column. Hope grows when we acknowledge what we cannot control while deliberately redirecting energy toward the second column.
Ask yourself:
“What is one small action I can take today?”
The action does not need to solve the entire problem. The purpose is to reinforce a sense of agency. Research consistently shows that hope is closely linked to the belief that our actions still matter, even when outcomes remain uncertain.
Final Thoughts
The good news is that hope is not a fixed trait, but something we shape through attention, awareness, and practice. When we notice our assumptions, question automatic cynicism, and stay open to different outcomes than the ones we (or others) predict, we create more space to respond rather than withdraw in the face of uncertainty.
Do you notice moments where it feels easier to assume things will not work out, or where uncertainty leads you to step back before fully engaging with what is possible?
Emerald Mental Health supports pilots and other aviation professionals in building psychological flexibility and resilience through counseling and mental health coaching. If you would like support, you can reach out for a free consultation at reini@emeraldmentalhealth.com or visit www.emeraldmentalhealth.com
Resources
Boothby, E. J., Cooney, G., Sandstrom, G. M., & Epley, N. (2018). The liking gap in conversations: Do people like us more than we think? Psychological Science, 29(11), 1742–1756. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618783714
Gallagher, M. W., Lopez, S. J., & Pressman, S. D. (2013). Optimism is universal: Exploring the presence and benefits of optimism in a representative sample of the world. Journal of Personality, 81(5), 429–440. https://doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12026
